The Absurdity of Nescafe Advertising
I contended back in June in response to a question on le bac that it is, in fact, absurd to desire the impossible. John Holbo struck back citing the Nescafe ad reproduced here, which he says “crosses over into Kierkegaardian territory.”
It is absurd to expect to get more from something than you think it is possible to get from anything. Especially if it’s instant coffee.
Still, I don’t think it is absurd to want coffee that would be better than life itself could possibly be. That would be a damn fine cup of coffee.
I think this is exactly backwards. It’s perhaps misguided to have unrealistic expectations about your instant coffee. But it’s not absurd to want an instant coffee that far exceeds the performance of any real-world instant coffee. And, indeed, with its Nespresso line I would say that the Nestle corporation has in fact succeeded in far exceeding my instant coffee expectations, albeit at a price that’s higher than I’m willing to pay. But to want more than “the most” is absurd. It’s on a par with wishing that you could put your coffee in a mug shaped like a square circle.
The larger story here is simply that Nescafe ad copy is often absurd. For example, when I visited Nestle HQ outside Geneva on my junket to Switzerland they had this in their office:
And also this puzzling statement of overall corporate philosophy:
Ever since I saw that last one, “creating magical enjoyment you feel good about” has been my informal mission statement here on the blog.
50 Responses to “The Absurdity of Nescafe Advertising”
Register
RSSLogin
Topic Cloud
ArchivesBlog RollAbout Matt YglesiasContact Me
Donate
July 6th, 2009 at 9:20 am
That reads like they hired Sarah Palin as a copywriter.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Great slogan. But in keeping with the blog style sheet, it should really be spelled this way:
“creating maniacal annoyment you’d tell god about.”
July 6th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I found my favorite ad copy on the walls of a restaurant.
“Hungry? Just wait ’till you see our menu!”
July 6th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Re Matthew’s claim [ “creating magical enjoyment you feel good about” has been my informal mission statement here on the blog. ]
————-
When can we expect to see the porn?
July 6th, 2009 at 9:41 am
“The most” in the first sentence could refer to the best available life, rather than ‘the most’ simpliciter. In that case, it might be that the best possible coffee is better than the best possible life, and so desirable without contradiction.
The deeper problem for me is that I’d assume the best life would include the best coffee, and so the latter could not exceed the former– since the part cannot be ‘more’ than the whole. But the ad seems to imply some sort of access to Nescafe beyond or independent of this life. While this isn’t logically absurd, it’s pretty weird.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:43 am
It helps to understand Nestle when you realize their historical heritage — the Nazis’ meth-laced Panzerschokolade (tank chocolate) :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meth#World_War_II
“Better Living Through Chemistry”
July 6th, 2009 at 9:47 am
PS Consider the hypersexuality incited by meth and you start to get the idea of where handing out chocolates for Valentine’s Day ..er.. arose.
The linkage between the Valentine “heart” symbol and aroused labia is left as an exercise for the reader.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:50 am
You missed John’s point, which is that there are different constraints on wanting than on expectation.
John grants that it’s absurd to expect something you think is impossible. That’s because expecting something involves believing it likely. But wishing and wanting do not involve a similar belief. One can want something one believes is extremely unlikely to come about. Indeed, you can even want something you believe it is impossible will come about. Since that’s so, it’s not at all clear why the want you characterize as absurd is absurd. Futile, granted. But wants can be futile (obviously).
July 6th, 2009 at 9:52 am
“Creating magical enjoyment you feel good about” reads like it was cribbed from a Japanese teenager’s t-shirt.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Back in my student days, there have been moments when a cup of coffee felt so good, it seemed doubtful that heaven could really offer anything better. And this was no gourmet stuff but the stuff peddled by vendors on trains.
So coffee as “magical enjoyment” is certainly within the realms of the possible.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Wow, that is damned funny; I spit instant coffee all over my keyboard.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:00 am
I hear ya. Nestle is offering the promise of a lifestyle or a transcendent experience from a simple consumer good. It’s really silly. But hasn’t that been the goal of advertising ever since, say, the 1920’s? Isn’t this just one of millions of ridiculous advertisements that we all irrationally accept?
July 6th, 2009 at 10:08 am
But the ad seems to imply some sort of access to Nescafe beyond or independent of this life. While this isn’t logically absurd, it’s pretty weird.
Nescafe actually stands outside of our limited understanding of time and space. The Nescafe we experience is merely a three-dimensional shadow of the true Nescafe.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:10 am
http://www.engrish.com/category/drinks/
Freshly brewed espresso and delightful fresh soft drinks refresh our minds and soften our hearts. They are indispensable to us.
If this chocolate is included in a mouth, it will melt mellowly in a mouth. And the delightful scent of beer will charm you.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:11 am
This is standard fare. But the Nestle corporation has truly taken this kind of meaningless crap to it’s logical extreme.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
But to want more than “the most” is absurd. It’s on a par with wishing that you could put your coffee in a mug shaped like a square circle.
What Jason said, plus Matt has John’s operators out of order. “I want a coffee that’s even better than the best possible coffee” isn’t incoherent; what’s incoherent is wanting that coffee and also wanting it, while you’re drinking it, to still be impossible.
More formally, “I want it to be that the best possible coffee is a 10 and my coffee is an 11″ is incoherent; “the best possible coffee is a 10 and I want my coffee to be an 11″ is not.
(I’m assuming there are no logical constraints on the quality of coffee. So that when we talk about the best possible coffee we’re talking about contingent limits on bean farming, roasting and preparation, rather than coffee greater than which no coffee can be conceived.)
(Also I do wish I could have my coffee in a square circular mug. That would be *really* cool.)
July 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
When I think Sarah Palin is winking at me, I feel magical enjoyment I can feel good about….but after the climax I feel a sense of shame and dirty all over
July 6th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Yeah, what’s striking is that this is for products that aren’t from Asia…That “Special Time” blurb could have come verbatim from a Taiwanese iced coffee can (I could undoubtedly find a better example by browsing a bit longer in that engrish.com site). But I think the special ingredient Nestle is adding would be “irony.”
July 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
…although I hope not.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
The fundamental problem is that while coffee can only be made prospectively, it must be drunk retrospectively.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Why is it that gun dealers, drug dealers and beautiful women don’t have to advertise?
July 6th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Um, nespresso isn’t instant coffee, at least in the sense of dissolving dehydrated crystals in water. It’s just a way of packaging ground coffee to make espresso from.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:41 am
(I’m assuming there are no logical constraints on the quality of coffee. So that when we talk about the best possible coffee we’re talking about contingent limits on bean farming, roasting and preparation, rather than coffee greater than which no coffee can be conceived.)
So we’re not getting into the ontological argument for the existence of really awesome coffee?
July 6th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Assign a value of worth to all things in your life and sum them together, a+b+c+d…. Now you’re telling me its possible that
b > a+b+c+d….?
This is true, if and only if, you allow negative valuations for some of the things in life. Since life does have bad things, pain, maiming, poverty, etc. it might make sense to assign a negative value to some of them.
Now either must one value coffee tremendously, or have a sh!t ton of negative things in life for coffee to have a chance at being greater than the sum of everything.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:48 am
What if your life sucks and it won’t get any better? Like if you live in a refugee camp in Darfur or something? Then all you’re asking for is a pretty good cup of coffee, which instant coffee could be if you make it right. That’s not so absurd.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Is it me, or does the “Personality” quadrant of their logo there contain a white girl with a giant native American headdress?
July 6th, 2009 at 11:06 am
“Is it me, or does the “Personality” quadrant of their logo there contain a white girl with a giant native American headdress?”
Well, YOU try to find a photogenic Lakota girl in Geneva.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I’ve always thought the perfect example of taking advertising cliches to the logical extreme is that razor (or shaving cream? I can’t remember) commercial from a few years ago where they throw in images of Muhammad Ali and a bunch of doublespeak about being the best or something. The images and dialogue are like the worst of the inspirational posters they sell in airplane magazines come to life. It is impossible to describe the absurdity of the whole thing, I can never figure out if it is actually supposed to be a parody or someone really thought it made sense.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:13 am
The point is that whether something is possible, and whether one knows that it is possible, does not have any immediate entailments for whether it is possible to want it. The latter is the issue between John and Matt. Contrary to what Matt seems to think, it’s not necessarily absurd to want the impossible (even while knowing it to be impossible).
It’s consistent with that point to think, with Adrian, that it’s incoherent to want the impossible under that description. But I’m not so sure even that is true. Or at least, I’m not sure how much it is supposed to rule out.
Suppose everyone at a party draws a number out of a hat, which determines the order in which people queue up for pizza, lowest number first. I choose 8; my arch-enemy gets a 3. So he’ll get an edge piece and I’ll get a crappy middle piece.
In these circumstances, I might wish that 8 was a lower number than 3. And I might wish this even knowing, as I do, that 3 and 8 are individuated by their respective places in the order of natural numbers, and so that a number lower than 3 wouldn’t be 8 at all. So I want 8 to be lower than 3, but I want it to be 8 even so, and thus higher than 3. A dumb wish, sure. But wishing is cheap.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Rock on dude. A mighty fine informal mission statement.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am
A few years ago, Bob Evans home cookin’ restaurants had the tag line “Each bite is better than the last!” — no diminishing marginal utility there.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am
My magical enjoyment used to be a glass of milk with nestles quik in it before bedtime.
Then a couple of years ago, I noticed it always made me cold.
Then a horrific migraine episode, lasting several months, made me realized I wasn’t shivering, I was shaking; the stuff was giving me seizures in my neck.
Magical indeed.
I still miss that glass of chocolaty milk before bed.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I like it. I see a new tagline at the top of this blog.
Ezra Klein’s blog: “Economic and Domestic Policy, and Lots of It”
Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish: “To See What is in Front of One’s Nose Needs a Constant Struggle”
Matthew Yglesias: “Creating Magical Enjoyment You Feel Good About”
July 6th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Is it me, or does the “Personality” quadrant of their logo there contain a white girl with a giant native American headdress?
Also, the Buckwheat-style black kid is holding a penis-popsicle. Let no one claim the Swiss aren’t weird.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Yeah, but there’s a big difference between the slogans.
Ezra Klein’s blog: “Economic and Domestic Policy, and Lots of It”
Maybe not the greatest formulation, but it’s accurate enough, informative and pithy. Maybe even slightly amusing.
Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish: “To See What is in Front of One’s Nose Needs a Constant Struggle”
Well, it does have a bit of Maoist flair to it, but it’s actually an interesting idea. Doesn’t tell you anything at all about the product, but at least gets the brain working.
Matthew Yglesias: “Creating Magical Enjoyment You Feel Good About”
Meaningless word salad. Random words being strung together.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I want “magical enjoyment you feel good about” to cause me despair and depression instead. Analyzing the inherent dichotomy of such a state of mind would probably earn you some kind of prize or something.
July 6th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
How about Dominoes’ “Pasta so good you’ll eat the bowl!”
July 6th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
So OK, it’s absurd to be human. I really don’t want my loved ones to die, ever. And I really, really don’t want to die myself. If it turns out these things are impossible, it doesn’t make me want them any less. I suspect the same is true of you.
July 6th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
She doesn’t want more than the most from her coffee, as compared to what she wants from life. She simply expects that her coffee will want more than the most out of her life, thus increasing the capacity of her life, and giving her more. Or something. I think Olsen is suggesting that she has made her coffee into a reverse vampire.
July 6th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
The Absurdity of Devoting any time to thinking about Nescafe advertising
July 6th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Re godoggo at 18: “Yeah, what’s striking is that this is for products that aren’t from Asia…That “Special Time” blurb could have come verbatim from a Taiwanese iced coffee can”
———
Er.. the woman on the Necafe ad is Eurasian Eunice Olsen — Miss Singapore Universe of 2000, co-host (in the Vanna White sense) of Singapore TV’s Wheel of Fortune, and lately a NMP (Nominated Member of Parliament). Singapore’s own version of ambitious, narcissitic, bewildering beauty queen Sarah Palin.
Maybe Eunice Olsen’s online bio will ring a few bells:
“Television and event host, actress, accomplished pianist and an avid volunteer. Whatever role she takes on, Eunice Olsen never loses sight of who she is. From her tireless generosity, her award-winning work to her stunning looks, Eunice is a complete embodiment of mind, body, and spirit.”
http://euniceolsen.com/
July 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Did you just admit to drinking instant coffee?
July 6th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
We’re missing the first-person in “I want the most out of my life.” It’s possible the speaker (presumably the woman in the photograph) has an upper limit of what she can imagine out of her life, that she has higher expectations for coffee.
Consider this: “I want Sarah Palin to be the smartest woman she can be. I want more from Tom Waits.”
July 6th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Someday, the singularity computer will say just a few words, like these, and we’ll vote it into the White House, and send it all our money.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Instant coffee. Was that developed as a result of the space program? What are those little beady nodules anyway? It sure as hell isn’t coffee.
When I want instant coffee, I pull out my French Press, the same one they use in those snobby 5 star restaurants in gay Paris to consistently produce the perfect cup of java.
Of course, I don’t call the thing a French Press. My instant coffee making device is proudly known as Freedom Press.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Matt: “creating magical enjoyment you feel good about” has been my informal mission statement here on the blog.
You’ve failed miserably – partly because of stupid, useless, no-content posts like this one.
You should commit suicide.
I haven’t drunk coffee since I was in a radio shack at Vung Ro Bay in Vietnam in 1968.
July 7th, 2009 at 12:45 am
This post reminds me of my days with Procter and Gamble.
July 7th, 2009 at 1:05 am
“For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.”
July 7th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
bdbd Says:
A few years ago, Bob Evans home cookin’ restaurants had the tag line “Each bite is better than the last!” — no diminishing marginal utility there.
My first interpretation was that the last bite was the worst; maybe there is a small pellet of foul-tasting poison in each serving. Of course, that implies that the last bite is better than itself, or that the quantifier “each” has a non-standard definition.
July 7th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Living in Portland gives you an appreciation for good coffee. However, on a trip to New Zealand we bought some Nescafe Short Black instant coffee and I have to admit it was tolerable.
http://www.landor.com/index.cfm?do=ourwork.casehistory&cn=5626&bhcp=1