John McCain Pretends Not to Understand What Beaver Management Is
For any given federal expenditure of funds, there’s an argument to be had over whether the deadweight loss to the economy caused by the taxation required to generate the funds exceeds the benefit obtained by the expenditure. But this is a technical argument that’s difficult to win decisively. And at the same time, the government rarely spends money on anything that’s genuinely pointless—though presidents do sometime propose the idea of a manned mission to Mars. Consequently, even though everyone’s against “out of control spending” and “pork” and everyone knows that “fiscal responsibility” is good, it’s difficult to criticize specific actual expenditures in a persuasive way. One popular thing the GOP has been doing to get around this problem in recent months is to criticize made-up programs. So the right is against a $30 million mouse earmark that they’re pretending Nancy Pelosi put in the stimulus, they’re against an $8 billion scheme to build a Disneyland-Vegas mag-lev train that they’re pretending Harry Reid put in the stimulus, and now they’ve invented a tattoo removal program that they’re pretending is in the omnibus appropriations bill.
Their other big idea is feigned stupidity. Michael Steele pretended not to know what a fish passage barrier removal program is. Turns out that these are programs designed to remove barriers to the passage of fish. So that fish species don’t vanish from certain habits and wreck entire ecosystems. Bobby Jindal was inspired to denounce “something called volcano monitoring”. Volcano monitoring is when you monitor volcanos to try to understand when they might erupt. And now we get this Tweet from John McCain:
Not having ever worked in beaver management before, I couldn’t say in detail how a beaver-management program would work. But again the basic concept here is really pretty clear. But if McCain is really confused, he could look it up. Brendan Nyhan suggests that we may need to let the GOP know about Let Me Google That For You. If anyone out there wants to know why beavers could be a problem for a given area, or about different ways that you can manage the beaver population and minimize beaver-related problems I would direct them to the Beaver Control and Management Information page on the Internet Center for Wildlife Damage Management. I found that right away using Google.
72 Responses to “John McCain Pretends Not to Understand What Beaver Management Is”
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February 27th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Must…not…make…Cindy McCain…joke
February 27th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Oh please Matt, you obviously need to get laid. Like tonight. And then drunk. Or maybe you need to reverse the order. Hey, it’s stimulus!
So John McCain makes a bad joke, big fucking deal.
He does it to draw attention to yet another example of spending which might better go through the regular appropriations process.
I realize that you see nothing wrong with Obama saying “Hey we gotta burn like a billion bucks fast, got any ideas guv’ment agencies?” ’cause all spending is Stimulator except when it is citizens spending their tax dollars themselves.
But as you well know the American people would not agree with you so you resort to subterfuge and yes lies.
Please remind me again how invading Iraq was such a good idea.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
We should apologize to John a bit, your a little harsh on him. You shouldn’t expect a rich politician like him to actually understand anything about the real world and the problems people deal with. To him a beaver is a 1/5th of a fur coat for his wife or a nice hat. Politico’s like him don’t realize that beavers can be pesky buggers who cause real damage to buildings, farms, and roads when they damn up small streams and cause huge floods.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Um, for the sake of sanity and the children, may I suggest that people *not* Google anything related to beavers…
February 27th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
hey john, maintaining and adequate supply of beaver often costs a lot of money
February 27th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
You’re missing the crude joke aspect of it. Because women voters love beaver jokes about as much as they love the GOP.
The GOP is run by idiots who don’t grasp that just because something is “popular” in a cultural sense doesn’t mean it’s popular in a political sense. Fart jokes and beaver jokes might get you a “popular” comedy show like Larry the Cable Guy but in politics those kind of numbers get you crushed. You can’t always go for the cheap joke. The GOP should take lessons from Ben Nelson and Bill Nelson. Just be boring, not a total asshole, and not corrupt and you can win with any ideology anywhere. Rep. John Mica is right-wing but at least he’s interested in governing and not taking golf trips paid for by Jack Abramoff. Take a page out of his book and actually take interest in, you know, governing! Instead the GOP seems to hit the trifecta of asshole/drama/corruption just about every day.
Keep it up Republicans! I want my New New Deal and at the rate you are going I might have a chicken in my pot, a jet pack, free broadband, and a rechargeable electric vehicle that I charge at a free health clinic before you can stop yourselves from making jokes about beaver. Beaver, get it! Bwahahahaha. Beaver. OMFGHESAIDBEAVER!!!1! LOLBVR!!!
February 27th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I think it’s all changed since free agency was brought in. Now you have to really take the star beavers into account when trying to keep a budget for a whole team.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
To be serious for a moment, there is another option: a program might be a worthwhile expenditure of public money, but it might not be a legitimate federal expenditure. Some people have this crazy idea that the Constitution sets out certain specific duties and powers to the federal government, and those are the only things the federal government should do. I don’t think any current GOP leaders actually believe this, but I think that’s where a lot of the anti-pork sentiment starts. If the people of Sisterfuck, Virginia want 47 monuments to Robert Byrd, they should pay for them, not the nation’s taxpayers.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I think it’s like Lean-Agile without all the pointless meetings.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
@4 – Also: With Gusto.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
These tactics are fine by me. The GOP tends to play by the P.T. Barnum maxim “no one ever went bankrupt underestimating the intelligence of the American people.” So we got Sarah Palin and Joetheplumber talking about scaaaaary socialist Obama.
I now refer you to the scoreboard. If this is how they want to play it, let ‘em.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Shoot. The maxim was Mencken, not Barnum–and it’s broke, not bankrupt. Shoulda used the Google.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
How does one manage a beaver?
I’m not going to go there.
Email me your thanks.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Oh, I’ll go there. Ahem.
McCain didn’t have any trouble managing the beaver at the party Cindy told us about at the convention.
February 27th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
I find it hard to get them walking in a straight line.
February 27th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Oh, to be young again…maybe 90 minutes younger, perhaps, so I could make the first bawdy comment about this.
February 27th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I thought beaver management was not cheating on your disabled first wife?
February 27th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
I don’t have the facts myself, but is it possible that Matt didn’t either and is taking the wrong tactic? I can’t swear that every penny is wonderful, and it’s silly to try in a mammoth bill. It’s misrepresenting the politics to pretend otherwise, in effect buying GOP lies.
But besides, maybe this one is great. But they’re from NC and MS. Could they be GOP pork? Blame them for gumming up the rescue of the economy with their special interests.
February 27th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I’ve got a feeling that in the end Twitter isn’t going to work out well for twits.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
All I can say is, it really must be a surprisingly pork-free bill if the stuff they’ve found to complain about is $650k. That’s the cost of 6 workers for two years. Or .0001% of the stimulus.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Speaking of beavers and pork, …
Ward Cleaver: Well, you boys are very quiet tonight. What are you thinking about?
Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver: I was just thinkin’ what I’d do if I was a pig eatin’ peoples ribs.
June Cleaver: Beaver, please.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Here’s an entire website dedicated managing beaver from the province of Alberta. As far as I can tell it involves A) leave the beaver alone, B) use chicken wire and pipes to circumvent beaver dams, and C) if A and B fail, try a .22.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Of course joe Alberta is far different from NC and MS. The climate, the population density, and the land use are far different.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Um. Beavers can really fuck up land big time. Turn good land into nasty swamp, wash out roads, destroy timber, cause floods.
I’m guessing that they are looking to manage beavers on federal land.
Spoken as someone once involved in a covert operation to discourage a beaver family from setting up on our property.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Matt’s biggest error in analysis is that he believes being ignorant is an insult to Republicans. As Obama said, it’s more like a source of pride.
–
http://www.starvingpundits.com
February 27th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
JimboSlice – I guess I’ll just leave to to beaver…experts.
February 27th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
That John McCain. Im sure Chelsea Clinton agrees with me that it’s nice to see losing the race for president hasn’t improved his sense of humor.
I am glad the Repubs found about that Twitter thing. They can make a fool of themselves and be offensive in less than 20 words.
On a personal note, I am still sad about the beavers whose dam was destroyed by the DOT. I am, of course, also glad the road beside it wasn’t destroyed.
Who does he think would be managing the beavers? Oops, sorry I asked.
February 27th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Beavers can be managed, but nutria are out of control. If you want to know why that’s a federal responsibility, consider that they are not native to the US, but since some idiot introduced (to Louisiana, I think, but I’m not sure) they have spread across the country and are causing major damage in Oregon, where we manage beavers just fine, thank you.
Maybe we could get McCain to show his understanding by making zebra mussel jokes next?
Strange that we had this very conversation on the way home from dinner, but then got lost on Grover Cleveland’s family life.
February 27th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
And you think McCain’s tweet somehow can be interpreted as expressing that sentiment?
February 27th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
re: the pic
Nice beaver.
re: tms @ #9
Sisterfuck, West Virginia.
February 27th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
$650K for latin women armed with hot wax
if it wasn’t for the stimulative effect I am
sure that could have been trimmed
February 27th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Hmm. I thought that tattoo removal program was real, reasonable and intended to allow former gang members a shot at getting a job. So is this story true or false?
February 27th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I thought McCain couldn’t type because he’d been shot down after dropping napalm on a bunch of little brown kids?
Now he twitters? Fuck me…
February 28th, 2009 at 12:03 am
$15 million for “filling potholes”? Now big government is going to “help” us with our kitchen equipment? What’s next!?!
February 28th, 2009 at 12:07 am
I’m waaaay too late to make the obvious joke. All right then. Carry on.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:35 am
These Republican politicians are not stupid. Instead they are catering to their constituency, a group of citizens that hate science or anything Democratic. These politicians probably are not really against scientific research. Jindal for example is creating a certain image as a politician and thus can never admit that publicly. His comments were directed specifically at that Republican constituency. He wants to gain their support for a presidential run. Expect him to continue blasting away with his political rhetoric regardless of truth, accuracy or factual basis. He wants to leave a specific impression in the minds of that unique constituency, of which, sadly there are many. Many like me will reject him, but there are plenty of our fellow citizens that will delight in his attacks and become even more ardent in support of him. As for McCain, I serious doubt he ever keyboards. Some poor intern probably has to do that for him while he looks down her blouse.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:17 am
JT: First of all, the fact that Obama’s stimulus measure included billions in tax cuts throws doubt on that particular strawman. Secondly, not all spending is equally stimulative, likewise tax cuts. And McCain isn’t just trying to point to process reform; the thrust of his argument is that the kind of spending he’s pointing to is de-facto illegitimate, without making a case for it. It’s the same idea behind mocking volcano monitoring or gang tattoo removal, or the venerable midnight basketball.
As for Yglesias’ original post, I would defend the manned mission to Mars. A manned mission to Mars is important because resources on Earth are finite and human populations are increasing; in the long term, say in a couple of hundred or maybe a thousand years, the solution is colonization. Hence, developing the technology to actually put humans on other planets is important. Of course, in the short term it’s wasteful, but so was the original mission to the Moon.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Reminds me that I knew a nut in the Federal joint who was in for blowing up a beaver dam with a pipe bomb. Idiot told somebody about it and got tossed in the clink.
All the inmates naturally called him “Beaver”.
February 28th, 2009 at 3:32 am
In terms of websites that lead people to eventually use Google, I prefer http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/
February 28th, 2009 at 7:52 am
toomanysteves, since you made a substantive comment, I think there are two responses:
1) I think very few people are really that concerned about the difference between the proper domain of the state and federal government. Like at most 0.1% of the populace, I would say, votes on that issue.
2) You may think that the states are best situated to do things like local wildlife management (though some of these things may affect interstate waterways, which seems like a federal issue), but the states are completely broke now. They can’t run deficits. So if we want something like this done, the feds are going to have to directly or indirectly pick up the tab.
I see that Don Surber has posted McCain’s top ten least favorite earmarks from the budget. It repeats the tattoo removal idiocy, and also contains this gem: “$2 million ‘for the promotion of astronomy’ in Hawaii – because nothing says new jobs for average Americans like investing in astronomy.”
OK, asshole. Hawaii is a world center for astronomy, because it has very high mountains and clear weather, which is really important for astronomy (you want to have your telescopes looking through as little atmosphere as possible, and obviously not clouded). Funding astronomy in Hawaii is also known as helping promote America’s academic and scientific superiority. And my brother is an astronomer, and he’s a hell of a lot more of an average American than privileged old you and your fucking beer-heiress wife. Not to mention the local people who will be employed that money — they’re even more average than that. Perhaps a guy who doesn’t remember how many houses he owns should shut the fuck up about average Americans?
February 28th, 2009 at 8:05 am
I live in Thunder Bay, Ontario. Back in the 90’s improper beaver management resulted in the damming of the flow to our water supply, that caused the city’s entire water supply to be infected with giardia. A city of 120000 people had to boil their water for an entire summer. Many thousands of people were sickened just by showering; people had rashes, vomiting, diarrrhea, people were hospitalized because of dehydration. Eventually the city had to install an expensive filtering system which ended up costing more than beaver management.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:26 am
The point is to highlight what a grand deceit the stimulus bill is. A stimulus bill whose actual aims accorded with its advertised aims would not be giving money to such projects. If your concerns are employment and aggregate demand you concentrate all the money on lower skilled jobs, not on projects which involve highly specialized jobs which only a fraction of the populace have the skills to perform.
This point is so obvious even pie man yglesias must be on to it. Luckily for him even when his great ignorance doesn’t automatically set him in favor of the liberal case his slight integrity proves no barrier to him making it anyway.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:42 am
To answer McCain: with lots of Ipana.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Oh, yea, like MacDaddy uses twitter. I bet. Most likely michael goldfart.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Thirty years ago Johnny Carson used to get laughs by working the word “beaver” into his repartee with Ed McMahon. McCain was probably a big Carson fan.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Apparently, Senator Straight Talk doesn’t realize that the buck-toothed little bastards did a million bucks worth of damage to NC farms, timberland, and roads last year. Guess when you have eight houses, the problems of small farmers out in the sticks don’t mean that much to you.
In fact, a lot of the projects the born again budget hawks seem to be really exercised about are farm related. Over at Faux News, Hannity rails against things like honeybee research and catfish genetics and “thanks to Tom Harkin, almost $2 million for swine odor and manure management. Because those pigs and their manure, they do smell pretty bad. We need to do something about that.”
Yeah, Sean, we kinda do, and if you’d ever get out of your comfy chair and get your smug, bloated ass down to Eastern North Carolina or rural Iowa, you’d know why. If you live in Duplin County, there ain’t a damn thing funny about pig shit.
Why do Republicans hate farmers?
February 28th, 2009 at 10:00 am
The point is to highlight what a grand deceit the stimulus bill is
Ooh, too bad that the beaver management earmarks are in the budget bill. You do realize that’s a different bill from the stimulus bill? I mean, even Don Surber seemed to realize that, and he’s a fucking moron, so surely you… actually never mind.
February 28th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Oops, omnibus spending bill, not the budget bill. Still, not the stimulus bill, either.
February 28th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I think it must truly annoy McCain that the figures appear totally reasonable. $650k seems like the right amount for such a program…if it was something like $65 million then he’d rightfully have an argument…but as it is, he’s left with pretending that beavers are inherently funny/foolish
(and as a Canadian, I too realize that the proud little buggers are a handful)
February 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am
“And at the same time, the government rarely spends money on anything that’s genuinely pointless”
Agriculture subsidies, prohibition policies, the f-22 and like half of DARPA, funding pet projects like the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame (yes, the federal government really does this), over payments and unaccounted for payments (about $20 billion in 2003), Corporate Welfare… I could go on. Do I have to?
The point is, there are TONS of examples of the government spending money on useless crap. This is maybe not as common as conservatives make it out to be, but still, there’s hardly nothing. To pretend otherwise is disingenuous.
Why must my fellow liberals ignore government waste and inefficiency? If we want bigger government to be better, we have to actually deal with the flaws of bigger government. We can’t just try and sweep them under the rug a la Republicans or pretend they don’t exist (a la Matt).
February 28th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Example I was given of how wasteful government is. The TDOT in the Nashville area purchased expensive materials (to block off closed lanes, I think), while the Memphis area TDOT used recycled materials. Why wasn’t this an example of good stewardship by Memphis instead of waste by Nashville and evidence of government waste instead of government savings. Because 30 years of attacks have set up that trope. Why are we not focusing on change. Because we need to change that.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I prefer http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/
February 28th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Saw a program on beavers once. They knocked down all the trees that separated a bedroom community from an airport, making it really noisy. Then they went to town knocking down the rest of the trees in the area, and their population was booming. Mob violence against the beavers ensued. A pro-beaver faction got into the fray. Then a local veterinarian got into the action and started catching, spaying, and releasing female beavers. Then the female beavers got depressed because they beavers are very-very-family.
Looks to me like beaver management is not so simple and they can certainly be bad news for the human environment, though they are a keystone species for the animal environment.
February 28th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
If your concerns are employment and aggregate demand you concentrate all the money on lower skilled jobs, not on projects which involve highly specialized jobs which only a fraction of the populace have the skills to perform.
Dude, plenty of skilled or professional workers are out of work, too.
February 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
So they got the contraception out of the stimulus bill, but left the pimp training in. Typical double standard, if you ask me.
Seriously, the Romer speech is an excellent and informative read on the thinking behind the stimulus package as constructed, and I commend it to all and sundry.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Beavers are far from unknown in Arizona . . .
March 1st, 2009 at 12:47 am
As to beavers in Arizona, when I was first figuring out what was what in the Southwest I stopped for gas in Beaver Utah (hometown of Philo T Farnsworth and Butch Cassidy, a fact fit for David Brooks) and asked if there were really beavers there and was assured that there were; later learned that Utah was a big center of the fur trade once upon a time.
Closer to Arizona, the beavers in the Virgin River (which I’m pretty sure gets to Arizona) are unusual in not building dams because the current of the river is too fast.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:15 am
Ochen pomoglo
March 1st, 2009 at 8:46 am
Best blog!
March 1st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Take the credit cards from away her handlers, and keep her away from the media at all costs.
March 1st, 2009 at 6:56 pm
You know, I wondered the same thing when they brought up the money to study honeybees in Texas.
I know Senators are probably too busy to know about everything that’s going on out there, but don’t they hire, at a great salary, aides to assist them? It makes me think that their staff is uninterested in Colony Collapse Disorder, which is affecting millions of dollars worth of crops. It’s been in the news enough to easily know about it. I have to believe that they just aren’t interested in anything outside the sphere of the lobbyists.
But the farmers know. I don’t know of any farmer who hasn’t heard of it. Aren’t they interested in helping farmers? Or are they so intellectually incurious that they would rather try to make a point than understand the problem?
I’m stumped. It sure makes them seem out of touch with the American public.
March 1st, 2009 at 7:13 pm
7. joejoejoe,
I really have to disappoint you on your choice of a Republican who you claim is “interested in governing and not taking golf trips paid for by Jack Abramoff.”
Just check out John Mica leaving a Tom Delay party in Minneapolis Oct., 2008:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh7-Wili8yQ
March 1st, 2009 at 9:39 pm
My father grew up in depression era rural Arkansas. He told me many stories about the problems farmers had with beavers blocking irrigation systems. Aperantly they are more atractive to beavers than natural streams. This may be one peice of ‘pork’ that seems relevant to the GOP’s rural base even though their elite leaders do not have the life experience to see its value.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:04 am
McCain’s last thought provoking essay: “How to Tame a Wild Bikini”.
I swear if they just claimed that Al-Qaeda was planning to blow up a beaver dam no one would ask a single question.
Likewise for detroit, if someone would walk into the Sterling Heights Stamping Plant with some roadflares taped to them and scream “allah akbar” repuglicans would be begging to dump money on the big three.
Some tragedies are more tragic then others, all that matters is the intent of the prime actors, if its criminals who want to hurt americans its special, if its politicians who want to help americans its evil socialism.
good luck!
March 3rd, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I see only bad text
March 5th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…
March 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
“The “funny” part about McCain’s fun-poking twitter intended to highlight spending waste is that North Carolina’s “beaver management program” is actually light years behind other regions. Apparently the tar-heel state has failed to learn about the use of flow devices and beaver deceivers to cheaply control flooding. Beavers improve water quality, increase birdlife, increase fish population density and diversity, and help wildlife as well. They are instrumental in providing habitat for many of the most popular game species, and are now being introduced specifically to combat the drought effects of global warming around the country.
Although your article sited “painless, instant beaver traps”, conibear traps only meet that description if the beaver is fortunate enough to place his head in directly inside them. Otherwise the beaver suffers a slow death by drowning while your state suffers the loss of the only watershed engineers that will work for free.
I suppose a “traffic management plan” that shot all speeders and blew up their vehicles would be fairly effective as well, but it wouldn’t be the best use of resources.”
Heidi Perryman, Ph.D. President & Founder Worth A Dam Martinez, CA
March 14th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Hmm…
March 25th, 2009 at 5:06 am
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April 8th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
My friend on Orkut shared this link and I’m not dissapointed at all that I came here.
April 15th, 2009 at 5:30 am
The style of writing is quite familiar . Did you write guest posts for other blogs?
April 16th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Give please. Having a holiday weekend without a family member felt like putting on a sweater that had an extra arm.
I am from Liechtenstein and learning to read in English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Tagged – general interest my guess is that tickets would be refunded if airline just stops flying, but.”
Thanks
. Moke.