Living Large
I’ve heard it said that the financial crisis and looming recession will reduce income inequality, but there still seems to be plenty around:
Four guests at the Omni Shoreham Hotel will be living large this January. The hotel’s 44th Commander-in-Chief Package, priced at a whopping $440,000, includes lots of bells and whistles to make its four-night stay for the inauguration as deluxe as possible.
Guests will stay in the two-bedroom, 1,700-square-foot Shoreham Presidential suite. It includes living and dining rooms, a library, a full kitchen, and a balcony. They’ll be treated to private breakfasts and an in-room dinner with entertainment by political satirist Mark Russell. Because tickets for four to the swearing-in ceremony are included, the hotel will make sure that its VIP guests are well coiffed and outfitted for the event: They’ll enjoy a preinauguration makeover by Elizabeth Arden’s Red Door Salon & Spa, a $44,000 shopping spree from the Lambros Jewelry Inauguration Collection, and personalized president and first lady cologne and perfume.
Getting to and from Washington won’t be a problem either: The hotel will arrange a private jet for the guests’ arrival and departure. And when they leave, they’ll walk out the door with a puppy of their choice—yes, a puppy.
I’ve gotta say, “in-room dinner with entertainment by political satirist Mark Russell” is way down the list of things I would want to buy with my $400,000. 1
38 Responses to “Living Large”
Register
RSSLogin
Topic Cloud
ArchivesBlog RollAbout Matt YglesiasContact Me
Donate
November 20th, 2008 at 10:17 am
It doesn’t appear from the article that the hotel has actually sold any of these packages yet.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:23 am
The trouble with you people is that you just don’t get my sharp, incisive satire –
Listen to this:
” The deficit rag, oh yeah the deficit rag,
Those budget gaps can be a twelve-digit drag,
I’m telling ya, that’s the deficit,
They really made a mess of it,
That’s the deficit rag! ”
I mean, it doesn’t get any hipper than that… does it?!
November 20th, 2008 at 10:25 am
$400,000 is a lot of eggs.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:26 am
So evidently Mark Russell is still alive.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I remember when it was the Shoreham Americana, a dingy place that for some reason was favored by Likudniks on official visits. Mark Russell was a fixture there even 30 years ago.
How about I’ll pay $540k instead of $440k, and you can keep your Mark Russell. The eponymous commenter #3 had it just about right.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I don’t know, if you had a raging party full of debauchery – think Hunter Thompson and his lawyer in Fear and Loathing – Mark Russell telling jokes in the corner could add a nice element of surreality.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Isn’t “Mark Russell” (like “Gallagher”) a franchisable persona, ever since the death of the original Mark Russell in the mid 1990s? There’s a brutal imposter website pretending to be the official Mark Russell site. The “material” there is so amazingly unfunny, the first (and to my mind, the only true) Mark Russell must be spinning in his grave.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:43 am
And it’s even more expensive without Mark Russell!
/Mark Russell-quality joke
November 20th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Because I hate myself and comedy I checked out the Russell archives for April 2003.
In Iraq, there’s already evidence of democracy and freedom – looting.
Is Mark Russell a pseudonym for Donald Rumsfeld?
November 20th, 2008 at 10:50 am
for $400K I might buy a “you get to impose Mark Russell on someone of your choosing” package
November 20th, 2008 at 10:51 am
At first glance, I didn’t notice the piano; I thought the pic was of Steve Forbes.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Really? A puppy? Just for an inauguration? What happens after the inauguration? That just seems out of place and cruel.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:04 am
How can this hotel guarantee tickets to the swearing-in? And isn’t it illegal for them to resell them? If inauguration tickets can’t be swapped on eBay, you’d think this would be forbidden, too.
I mean, okay, of course you wouldn’t REALLY think that — these services are for rich people and the rules that apply to you and me don’t hold for situations like this. Still seems like kind of a drag though, huh?
November 20th, 2008 at 11:06 am
For $440,000, there must be good prostitutes. This is kind of like Dubai’s seven star hotel. What do you get after five stars? At a five star hotel, you already get the gold plated fixtures and teak or marble flooring. Without blowjobs, where does it go from there?
“At first glance, I didn’t notice the piano; I thought the pic was of Steve Forbes.”
I never thought about it, but he does kind of look like Steve Forbes, doesn’t he? And I’ve met Steve Forbes and did tequila shots with him. Let’s just say the two women with him were neither his wife nor his daughter. But they were HOT. And I mean HOT!!!
November 20th, 2008 at 11:17 am
You children are too young to remember the rage the Yankees lobbed at Jim Bouton for revealing the beaver shoots that Mantle led on the roof of the Shoreham.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Swap Tom Lehrer for Mark Russell and I might just scrape up the do-re-mi.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Jono: I thought the same thing. Really cruel. I hope it’s a joke and they really mean a stuffed puppy or something. Because that would be a cool send-off gift. It could come with an embroidered tag around it’s neck that said: “Thanks for the $440,000, suckers!”
November 20th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
What about a $400,000 dollar orgy with Mark Russell? Does that make you more or less likely to pay? Mark is willing and able. You can keep the puppy too.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Turn the National Mall into a festival-style tent city for the inauguration, pls. Obamapalooza.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
The thing that always amazes me about this sort of thing is how little you get for your money, apart from those prestigious tickets. I mean, if I had $440k to blow on an extended party around the inauguration, I guarantee it would be a lot more impressive.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Mark Russell appears to be the poor man’s one-man Capitol Steps. Oh dear.
And yes, if Tom Lehrer could be tempted out of retirement, let it be for the inauguration.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
The thing that always amazes me about this sort of thing is how little you get for your money, apart from those prestigious tickets.
It’s got to be a tax write-off somehow.
November 20th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
I heard if you’re in town and looking for a more ecomomical package you can have “in-room entertainment from political satirist Matthey Yglesias” for the cost of takeout from El Tamarindo and a six pack of Red Stripe
November 20th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I stayed in the Omni Shoreham once, when my kid was a state representative at Mathcounts. Nice place. Even when you don’t spend in the six figures.
November 20th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I’m sorry. These people are rich. It sucks that so many people starve or are evicted from their homes while the rich can but ridiculous makeovers, jewelry, and other things in this package. However, including a life in a package is DISGUSTING. These puppies, which inevitably come from AKC breeders, not shelters, deserve more than to be used as toys by the wealthy until their “owners” become bored and discard/abandon them as if they were nothing. They deserve forever homes with families who will love them. EEEEWWWWWAAARRRGGHHH!!!!! (In case anyone misses this, I’m desperately in love with my 5-year old corgi, who I rescued from a shelter. He has abandonment issues; he always sleeps on people’s feet or next to the door so they can’t leave him.)
November 20th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I don’t know which is a better argument for a more progressive income tax, this hotel package, or the fact that Steve Forbes can get with hot women.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
They can keep the puppy, I want a new motorcycle.
March 1st, 2009 at 5:08 am
viagra
Excellent site. It was pleasant to me.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I have to say, I could not agree with you in 100%, but that’s just my IMHO, which indeed could be wrong.
p.s. You have a very good template for your blog. Where did you find it?
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:57 am
tramadol
Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive!
March 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 am
buy viagra online
Incredible site!
March 27th, 2009 at 1:09 am
Noway, you cannot be serious.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Check out my site, FREE STRIP CAMS! (CLICK ON MY NAME)
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:01 am
I bookmarked this site. Thank you for good job!
cheap brand pfizer viagra
April 8th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
My fellow on Orkut shared this link with me and I’m not dissapointed at all that I came to your blog.
April 9th, 2009 at 4:59 am
I rarely comment on blogs but yours I had to stop and say Great Blog!! viagra
April 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
FANTASTIC!
April 15th, 2009 at 6:02 am
My friend on Orkut shared this link and I’m not dissapointed at all that I came here.