Kay Hagan’s Radical Homosexual Agenda
Liddy Dole’s allies in the North Carolina GOP break out the big guns:
A new mailer in support of incumbent Sen. Elizabeth Dole claims that Hagan’s agenda, with the help of “liberal judges,” will be to advance a “radical homosexual agenda” which includes same-sex marriage, removing “Under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance, and forcing the Boy Scouts to accept gay and atheist troop leaders.
To my ear, that sounds more like a radical atheist agenda that promotes equality for gays and lesbians as a side effect. What, exactly, is the gay interest in removing “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance? I’m also interested in the idea that picture depicts one “radical homosexual” newlywed in a bowtie and the other in a conventional tie — I’ve only been to two weddings and both featured straight couples, but my assumption would be that the couple would coordinate neckware and avoid this kind of mismatch.
58 Responses to “Kay Hagan’s Radical Homosexual Agenda”
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October 23rd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
To my ear, it sounds like the dying gasp of desperation for the formerly ‘moderate’ Republican Liz Dole to be screeching about the homos gonna taker yer kids and whatnot.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
It’s an impressionistic flourish to emphasise the mockery they are making of the institution. So severe is their transgression that they have thrown sartorial concerns to the winds along with the common decency you would expect of any non-depraved society.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I’m surprised they didn’t make one of the figurines black.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
If its true then I would donate money to support that platform.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
This is remarkably restrained for a NC GOP ad. They could have gone with two black men. Or they could have gone with one black man and one one white man (gasp!). I commend Sen. Dole for reaching only two-thirds into the usual GOP slime bucket.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
@ Glenn
I need to type faster. You beat me to it.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Has the Onion hired itself out to produce campaign mailers for
Republicans?
Satire is dead. The Republicans have killed it. You couldn’t make this shit up.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Sounds excellent! Where do I sign up?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
“What, exactly, is the gay interest in removing “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance?”
To replace it with “under Bruce”, obviously.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
No, gays wish to destroy matching clothes at weddings too. It’s part of the whole systematic wedding destruction they plan to go on. No cakes anymore either, just multi-tiered pies. The horror.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Apparently Kay is Hagan’s middle name. Her first name is “Liberal.” I think I’ll name my next kid “Liberal,” except that would probably turn her into a Republican.
Petey, have something for Australians?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I’m also interested in the idea that picture depicts one “radical homosexual” newlywed in a bowtie and the other in a conventional tie — I’ve only been to two weddings and both featured straight couples, but my assumption would be that the couple would coordinate neckware and avoid this kind of mismatch.
In its understated/naif way, that is just about the funniest thing I have ever read.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
This is classic late-campaign screeching from someone that’s going to lose.
If the Liddy Dole campaign wants to say that her six years in the Senate have been spent protecting NC from teh ghey, then that’s fine. Because the problem she faces is that she has done fuck-all of positive value for the state in those six years.
Oh, and here’s the big reason why this mailer is dumb: judges on the state supreme court and court of appeals in NC are elected. There are a bunch on the ballot this time round. They might not be running under a party label, but their electoral websites have all the expected code-words about their leanings.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:57 pm
“Petey, have something for Australians?”
If the radical homosexuals tried to change the pledge to “one nation, under Australians”, I’d protest.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:57 pm
C’mon, everyone knows that the bowtie means your a top.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Presumably the kneeling and the long tie is to indicate which one is the man in the relationship.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Petey, when you produced the name “Bruce,” I had a Monty Python moment. Sorry.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
@Lon
I thought the whole problem the wingnuts had with same sex marriage is that they were both men. If only one is a man, they probably wouldn’t oppose it.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
And I’m confused: is the guy proposing at the wedding?
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Are they supposed to be the figurines on top of the wedding cake? I don’t get it.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
And I’m confused: is the guy proposing at the wedding?
No, no, you’re thinking of a traditional heterosexual marriage. This is a liberal gay marriage, where after the vows are stated the partner with the longest tie performs a godless act of sodomy on his new husband before they drive off into the sunset seeking heterosexual marriages to destroy.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
No, he’s *fellating* at the wedding.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Damn, you stop to fill in your email address and someone else gets the sodomy joke.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Isn’t there an International Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Event Planners that could get out the vote for and donate to Hagan and other enlightened candidates? The events industry which, judging from my wedding, must have at least $700 billion in the bank, loves same-sex weddings. And a good wedding planner could help people avoid all these train wrecks like wrong ties, proposing at the wedding, etc.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
They gays know that defense of traditional marriage is mostly found among decent religious people (although it’s not an attempt to force their religious values on anyone, at all, it’s just that Evangelicals have the best secular values too). So destroying Christianity in this country is indeed essential to the gay agenda.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
No surprise with Doyle using this tack.
Have you ever seen this women on a TV interview show. In 2006, on Meet the Press, she presented herself as a complete Republican talking point spouter of nonsense. Tim Russert couldn’t get her to stop talking long enough to ask a question.
Her fellow panel members just gasped at her in wonder.
She epitomizes the old guard right wing neocon kool aid drinkers who disdain the common man and flock to their $10,000 a plate dinners.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
@Russell – I’m with you. The rightwingnuts hate “regular Americans”. Think of all of the out-of-work machinists, technicians, retailer workers who could be put to work in the growing Same-Sex Wedding Industry.
Same sex couples tend to have higher incomes, so have megabucks to spend on formalwear, decorations, catering, videography, booze, gifts & geegaws for the guests.
States should be fighting to become the gay marriage capitol of America, if just to boost sales tax revenues.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
The kneeling gay is interrupting his friend’s heterosexual wedding ceremony with his own gay proposal. The standing groom is saying something like, “Just let me hear him out, Cathy. What he’s proposing is perfectly legal, after all.”
That’s how it’s going to happen.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
The reason this is so hilarious is that, if Kay Hagan was really a captive of the radical homosexual agenda, she wouldn’t have run against the gay guy for the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Heh..doshaburi wins with the best explanation, I think…it even explains the mismatched-tie question Matt had. Not that the fellatio scenario isn’t also plausible, though. Actually, maybe fellatio is part of his proposal….
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
The events industry which, judging from my wedding, must have at least $700 billion in the bank, loves same-sex weddings.
If the British example is anything to go by, the best way to deal with any residual prejudice among the older generation towards same-sex weddings is through fantastic catering.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Oh noes! They’ve uncovered our plans!
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Someone should ask Dole if she also favors banning prescription coverage for Viagra for teh gays….
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Doshaburi & Glenn remind me of anti-gay activist Paul Cameron’s infamous claim that gay sex is actually hotter than straight sex. “Cathy, not only would the marriage be legal– the sex would be phenomenal. Sorry, girlfriend.”
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
On behalf of Bruces everywhere (except Australia), I say, fine with me. “over Bruce” would be OK too.
– Bruce
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
So, if people want to avoid letting Kay Hagan vote for a “state constitutional amendment”, doesn’t the fact that she’s running for a seat in the US Senate and is not running for NC Senate mean that the problem is already solved?
Or am I making a mistake in trying to apply logic at all?
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
“vote against”, rather.
October 23rd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
What makes you think the guy on his knees is the groom?
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:19 pm
“It’s the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat’s supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why’d you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?”
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Dole should have had a pair of black hands moving the little guys around.
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:57 pm
well kagan can just say I dont understand why your not behind them since you would never hear of a gay or lesbian couple haveing an abortion and that is purely a hetrosexual thing so is divorce to a great extent dont you wish you could say that
October 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Re: so is divorce to a great extent dont you wish you could say that
Cwazycajun,
Er, no. The evidence suggests that gay relationships are _on the average_ much more likely to break up than heterosexual ones, and much more short-lived. We may disagree about the causes of this, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that gay people should not be allowed to get marriage. But when you say easily refutable nonsense like that, it just makes your cause look foolish.
You’re correct about abortion, of course.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:15 am
“States should be fighting to become the gay marriage capitol of America, if just to boost sales tax revenues.”
Meant in jest perhaps, but truer than you might think!!
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2008/08/18/a_new_wedding_boom_awaits/
October 24th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Colonel Danite:
Presumably the kneeling and the long tie is to indicate which one is the man in the relationship.
I thought the whole problem the wingnuts had with same sex marriage is that they were both men. If only one is a man, they probably wouldn’t oppose it.
I will rephrase the statement that Lon made:
Presumably the kneeling and the long tie is to indicate which one is the poker in the relationship, and which is the pokee.
November 13th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
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