Bjustra Hell
IKEA sells a dining room table called “bjustra.” In fact, they sell two different tables by the same name, similar in style but different in size. Each table comes in two boxes — one for the table top, and one for the base. And if you so happen to get mixed up in the store and pick up box one of one bjustra and box two of the other bjustra, well, suffice it to say that “woe unto you.”
They won’t catch the mistake at the checkout line. And when you drive back to College Park to try to make the exchange, they’ll tell you that the thing to do is to go back home and dial extension 1050. Except nobody picks up at that extension! Things only go further downhill from there. Word to the wise. The whole situation is making me skeptical of the merits of a “Swedish-style” response to the banking crisis.
61 Responses to “Bjustra Hell”
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October 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Has anyone told Paul Krugman?
October 13th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
couldn’t you have called extension 1050 from your cell phone, while still in the store?
October 13th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Nazis can be jerks:
IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad was, as a teen, directly involved in the pro-Nazi New Swedish Movement (Nysvenska Rörelsen) until at least 1945.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
in any city with a large population of recent college graduates, there is always an enormous supply of IKEA furniture available used for half or less of what they charge new. And as a bonus, you don’t have to put it together yourself. I suggest the next time you want something from IKEA you check Craigslist first.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I made the mistake of going the Ikea route once. Suffice it to say three months later I still was not finished building all the furniture due to a mess up from their shipping department (as this all came to my home). As a result, I have two sterling high quality pieces that work beautifully and three that are total junk. You will never get this fixed. Just do a cost benefit on what you cost per hour and you will find that you could have already saved money by just buying what you are missing and trashing the superfluous pieces. I am really not kidding on this. In the end my 700 dollar order cost me like 3500 in time and energy. I could have had the pieces custom built for that.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
IKEA wants you to buy a second mis-matched set. You don’t want two bjustras? Too bad.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
The first time I went to Germany (and Europe for that matter) I ate dinner with a family in Munich and their kids were eating off the exact same Ikea plates that my kids do.
Ikea is kind of like Wal-Mart; but that’s a bit unfair to Wal-Mart, since Ikea’s products are crappier in quality and only somewhat more stylish.
Of course if the economy reverts to the super-great depression, with massive energy shortages and looting, I’m heading to Ikea to get as many cheap tea lights as I can. But by that point some Tina Turner-like figure will have used all the spare screws and pieces of wood from the Ikea assembly sets to make a giant post-apocalyptic thunderdome.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Eh, experiences differ. I have purchased from ikea before with no problems at all. Just try to keep it simple, is my recommendation.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Ikea isn’t all bad, but you do have to be careful what you buy. When I shop there I try to buy things made of wood rather than things made of sawdust.
They are a great place for tea lights. I also think their candles are pretty nice. They actually burn down straight rather than slumping over like some of the other candles I’ve purchased.
Blërg!
October 13th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I’ll never forgive ikea for shredding all the flesh off my hands with their rubbery tool grips and flaky particleboard. Why oh why did I move into a 210 sq ft studio
October 13th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
That CP IKEA is a consumerism ant farm. I’ve never been to another, so I lack proper perspective, I guess.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
This sounds like a problem Andy Rooney could help you with.
October 13th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
And when you drive back to College Park to try to make the exchange,
You mean you *can’t* take the metro from Mt Vernon Square to Greenbelt to go furniture shopping?
October 13th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
woe to you indeed! Try ordering a couch, waiting 2 months, them sending the wrong couch, and then after a week of chasing being informed the right couch will take another two months. Then when you get fed up, they won’t let you speak to anyone who matters, so if you want to get ur money back good luck.
THEY decide to call YOU. Meaning if you miss the call after a week of waiting, you go to the beginning of the queue, again.
And omg, don’t even THINK about changing debit cards, don’t you dare. They will waitlist the sh*t out of you if you even attempt to suggest that it is unreasonable for them to assume no one ever changes cards.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I was considering buying a $60-$80 German chef’s knife which, by all accounts, has gotten positive reviews, and I cook a lot. Then I noticed that Ikea was selling a Chef’s knife for $3.99. I figured, “This will tide me over until I feel ready to buy the German knife.” Honestly, I haven’t gotten tired of my cheapo Ikea Chef’s knife. Plus, my Ikea bookshelves have kept my apartment from turning into even more of a messy pile of books than it already is, for not too much money… but yeah, in a city like DC, you can always find transients unloading their Ikea furniture for much less than it costs in the store… and I’d never buy furniture I plan to keep for several years from Ikea.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
And since you’re a new urbanist, I’m surprised you didn’t use the nearby, locally owned store but went to the burbs to a super-huge international conglomerate.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
If Mr. Yglesias used a credit card, his option is very simple. Inform the manager of the store that if he doesn’t make it right, Mr. Yglesias will put the charge in contest. Let IKEA fight with VISA, Mastercard,or AE.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
re: having something custom made
When we built our house several years ago, we were ready to buy the usual cheap cabinets since custom would be prohibitive. Nope. Shop around. Custom can be competitive. Ours were actually cheaper.
The University of Maryland is nearby Yglesias. Try there. Everyone who lives in the DC metro area isn’t a political junkie. I’m sure there are actually a couple of hippie/artisan/craftsmen in the area.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Next time go to the White Marsh IKEA. It’s nicer.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
That is one butt-ugly table. There’s your problem right there.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Driving? Driving!?! What — couldn’t strap those bad boys onto the back of your bike?
October 13th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
But the meatballs are so damn good. You think you are done with the Swedes and their giant furniture store and the damn meatballs pull you right back in.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Wait until you assemble, my friend. Your woes are just beginning!
Ikea designers take a sadistic delight in providing pieces that are almost, but not quite, identical. One of these will be added in step 2, only to be discovered in step 20, such that the damn thing needs to be disassembled and reassembed!
October 13th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
My wife loves IKEA but she forbids me from going because, without fail, I get in a very bad mood and we have a very big fight.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I got screwed on buying some IKEA furniture recently. I bought a style of bed that announced clearly enough that it came in two pieces, but no one indicated to me that there was a third piece — common to a range of IKEA beds — that was also necessary. Another time renting a car, another trip to South Philly. You get what you pay for; the furniture is cheap, in part, because they offer no customer service.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Matt,
Try to avoid anything that requires you to use an Allen wrench.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
The Amazon.com way, back in the startup days, was to make desks out of a door and four table legs. One of those desks makes for a small dining table.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Matt Y. moving home promises a reliable stream of buffoonery and antics.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Oooohh…IKEA…okay, that makes sense.
At first glance, I saw the “bjustra” in the title, and thought MY was trying to spell “bluster” or “bolster” or something.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Our experiences in the checkout lanes at IKEA have been really bad. Slow moving lines, confusing layout, confusing directions, clerks that dawdle, and don’t seem to know how to handle the simplest quandary.
October 13th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
There’s a reason IKEA is known as “Swedish Masochism”
October 13th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
But by that point some Tina Turner-like figure will have used all the spare screws and pieces of wood from the Ikea assembly sets to make a giant post-apocalyptic thunderdome.
Funny, funny, from Colatina!
October 13th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
IKEA runs the banks, too? Efficient little buggers! Wonder how their financial system went under….(poor construction?)
October 13th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Ikea: Swedish for ‘particle board’.
October 13th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
I never understood the virtue of Ikea furniture. You can get a lot of really good stuff from consignment-type places. Like high quality furniture for adults not made of particle board for about the price (sometimes less) of the schlock they sell you at Ikea. Plus you don’t have assemble it.
Ikea really is terrible for the most part. Though I do agree that some of the lights and candles are nice enough.
October 13th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I had exactly the same experience with their Leksvik dresser. Ugh. Actually, I think my experience was a little worse:
The first set of boxes I got was a matched pair, but one of the pieces was defective (screwholes misaligned.) So after building the damn thing, except for that drawer, I attemped to go back and find a replacement part, only to find out I had “last year’s model,” so I’d have to return the whole thing. They didn’t have any more of the 2007 version.
So (fast forward a couple of weeks, when I finally had a chance to drag the 100-lb dresser back into my car) I did that, and got two new boxes. I again assembled it, and found out — most of the way through the process, naturally — that one of the drawerfronts was chipped.
So this time I had the 2008 version and could just get a new drawerfront, right?
Wrong. Once again, old version. Once again, the last one. Customer service (local and national) has been no help at all.
I’m tempted to drag it back to Ikea again and just light the thing on fire as an effigy in their parking lot.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Actually, the O’Jays were the first to use the word “bjustra” in a rock song: She Bjustra Be My Girl.
October 13th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Warning! A little known municipal by law prohibits Jews from using tools within DC city limits.
October 13th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Go back and tell them what you want and they will fix it for you. Same thing happened to me at the very same store and it was fixed right away. The only thing IKEA really needs to fix is the checkout people who are unwilling to tell you that you have a mismatched set.
October 13th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Ay-yup. Got some shelves shipped to me in Manhattan via the IKEA website (NB not pleasant user interface). Attempted to assemble them w/o spouse present, broke one of the fiberboard pieces. Spouse rented a car and we drove to the Elizabeth NJ IKEA. Spare piece a problem to obtain, for reasons having to do with delivery receipt. Decided “f*#k it” and bought entire new bookshelf. Got it home, via serious traffic jam in Jersey City. Was going to just take the one broken fiberboard piece off the original bookcase and replace it with “identical” piece from the new box – but discovered that all the holes (for dowels) were drilled in different places. Assembled new bookcase. Put old one out on the street for an intrepid person to cope with should they feel like it.
Was reminded yet again why I hate IKEA. So Matt, I feel your pain.
October 13th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Matt its a shitty table. I suggest you just return both boxes. I bought the same table and it only lasted a few months. Although in the table’s defence it started sinking in the middle only after friends repeatedly spilled drinks on it. Still its durability is negligible.
October 13th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Don’t forget to oder your Erika Pekkari dust ruffle.
October 13th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Actually, the return policy is better for the IKEA’s in Toronto. It really painless (unlike your experience). And while it used to be hell to shop at IKEA (our joke was IKEA was swedish for “out of stock”), they’ve made improvements over the years and now I can actually recommend it (something I would not have done a few years ago).
Hey, maybe our IKEA’s are run by Krugman and yours are run by Paulson. Now it all makes sense!
October 14th, 2008 at 2:30 am
That is one butt-ugly table. There’s your problem right there.
I’m afraid I have to agree, but they do have some good and solid stuff: I’m sitting at this desk right now and while it’s not going to win a design award, it’s blends in quite nicely; also, it has survived a move in one piece without problems, accommodates two big monitors without bending and you can stand on it while cleaning windows.
My wife loves IKEA but she forbids me from going because, without fail, I get in a very bad mood and we have a very big fight.
This is funny, I have observed a lot of couples at IKEA being either very grumpy or getting into outright fights. Bachelors and students don’t seem to be similarly affected for some reason.
October 14th, 2008 at 6:16 am
This is funny, I have observed a lot of couples at IKEA being either very grumpy or getting into outright fights. Bachelors and students don’t seem to be similarly affected for some reason.
My girlfriend and I always bring our friends the gay couple along when we have to go to IKEA, so that I get pissed at them for taking too long instead of her. Love is too precious to waste on cheap furniture.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:42 am
My experiences with IKEA have been good (and yes, I’ve used the College Park store), or at least as good as you’re going to have with a basically dystopian environment. On the other hand, I have lots of warehouse work experience and have been known to triple check what I have before I get out of that joint. Hope you sort things out dude.
October 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I buy my furniture on craigslist. Good buys to be had in the DC area. If you need an extra one, contact me.
(I sent the link to this entry to a colleague who had a bad IKEA experience 2 weeks ago. She was directed 30 miles from one Maryland IKEA store to a second IKEA store that had in stock the cabinets she wanted. When she arrived at store #2, she was told that it would not honor store #1’s sale price. What really upset her was that the two stores’ personnel talked before dispatching her to store #2 but neither confirmed the sale price nor told her she would have to pay full price. She’s gotten no satisfaction from Customer Service either.)
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