Sep 9th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Sarah Palin Controls Our Dreams
I didn’t want to mention that I had a dream about Sarah Palin (she was driving a piece of farm equipment back and forth on the football field of the high school catty-corner to my house, laughing maniacally and I was trying desperately to install some kind of codec on my laptop so they could capture it on video) because it just seemed to weird and creepy. But according to David Plotz, Palin-related dreams are a growing national trend and he’s taking submissions.
81 Responses to “Sarah Palin Controls Our Dreams”
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September 9th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Good to know. I had a dream about cute a female friend, who I dreamed had been nominated on the basis of her (not actually existing) National Guard fighter pilot experience. I guess this makes me normal. I emailed her about it and we’re having dinner this Friday.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Two nights ago I dreamed about Hillary and Obama. In a conference room Hillary was conducting a small q&a with voters. I asked her what happened with Joe Lieberman. She told me he’d been deeply hurt by how the Democrats rejected him in his last Senate race and had doubled down on his neo-con crap. In the same dream, Obama was giving a speech at a Home Depot, talking very, very fast and mocking Sarah Palin. So I guess that kinda sorta qualifies.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
and he’s taking submissions.
Submissions. Odd. Someone else called Palin a dominatrix.
I think you all need some time off.
Former beauty queens make their best impressions right off the bat. After that, it’s all downhill. They don’t improve upon repeated viewings. Relax.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I had a dream about Sarah Palin answer questions about the Fed’s orchestration of the takeover of Lehman Bros.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I think you meant nightmare, . . . you had a nightmare.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“I didn’t want to mention that I had a dream about Sarah Palin (she was driving a piece of farm equipment back and forth on the football field of the high school catty-corner to my house, laughing maniacally and I was trying desperately to install some kind of codec on my laptop so they could capture it on video)”
A very apropos dream.
Palin laughs. Dems try and fail to get the goods on her.
Hillary stands just out of frame, saying, “You should have put me on the tractor, Matthew.”
September 9th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
In my dream, Sarah was in Alaska spending time with her oldest son before his deployment to Iraq on (wait for it) 9/11. That’s what the McCain camp told the media in response to their clamoring for access to her.. she’d be unavailable because of her son. Hard to argue with that, really.
Then I woke up and noticed she’s been to five crucial swing states in the many days since the McCain camp fed that line of bullshit to the media on the end of a spoon.
Dream on, I guess.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Sarah Palin may control our dreams, but is she aware of all Internet traditions?
September 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I had a dream that Sarah Palin is Rush Limbaugh in a dress kissing Michael Savage.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
every night for the past week and a half.
something about this woman really throws me off.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Petey -
How’s that spilled milk taste?
September 9th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I had a dream that the current mayor of Wasilla, Alaska decided to put Sarah Palin’s pet project/multi-use sports complex/taxpayer boondoggle up for sale on Ebay.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“How’s that spilled milk taste?”
I think that’s likely going to be a party-wide question in 60 days…
September 9th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I haven’t been dreaming about Sarah Palin. But I’m a lucid dreamer with the ability to control the subject matter up front. So maybe I’ll try it tonight. I’m thinking along the lines of Palin being sodomized by an oil drilling rig operated by Dick Cheney. And she’s blowing McCain while Cindy watches. Anyone got any better ideas?
September 9th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I’m actually kind of terrified by Matt’s description of his Palin dream. I imagine David Lynch-esque sound editing.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Maybe Sarah Palin doesn’t exist except in our dreams, like Freddy Krueger, or that Bob Newhart show (I think it was The Bob Newhart Show).
September 9th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Speaking of dreams, after reading this (http://www.fresnobee.com/263/story/848554.html)I know what tonight’s slumber holds for me. I stealthily break into Sarah’s igloo and proceed to rub her down with spices and slap her with an 8″ sausage. Oh God, sometimes innuendo can be so much fun……..
September 9th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Obama has apparently been dreaming that he could beat Palin in basketball. He said yesterday that he believes he could take her one-on-one, but I would put my money on the Barracuda. Obama’s increasingly embittered as her cult following now exceeds his own. His only consolation is remembering that the crowd turned on Jesus, too.
He, Britney and Tom Cruise should start a therapy group for washed up celebrities.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
fostert, listen to me. This is important. Get help.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
In mine, she’s dressed like the goddess Kali, only with dozens of fetuses strung around her neck, line dancing on an old John Deere tire, reciting the Alaskan national pledge of allegiance, pausing occasionally to vomit credit card receipts on a tiny, strangely infantile John McCain, who is struggling (futilely, as it turns out) to frotte his limp member to some semblance of stiffness through an old-fashioned diaper.
I blame sobriety.
.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
in my nightmare palin is on her hands and knees and mccain is right behind her yelling; “my friends, change is cominnnngggggggg”.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
e oneal…again you are confused…jesus was a community organizer…pontius pilate was a govenor.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I think I’ve stumbled into a gathering of psychotics, or is this the Democrat base? Or do I repeat myself? It’s not just your politics that’s insane.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I feel very fortunate that none of my dreams have involved any of these political figures.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
“fostert, listen to me. This is important. Get help.”
For the record, I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Dude, why don’t you jack off in private?
.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
That sounds like an awesome salvia trip.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
hey norm, is that what you think Jesus was? Did Jesus study under the leftist followers of Saul Alinsky? Were his mentors Rev. Wright and William Ayers? Did Jesus go into politics to accomplish the left wing goals he couldn’t advance effectively through community organizing? No, I don’t think Jesus was a community organizer, but nice try.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
e oneal…actually he was a jewish carpenter. now he is a dead jewish carpenter.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Grand Moff Texan, have you heard the dude lately? He’s getting pathetic, sort of like King Lear without the nobility. He was making fun of Palin last night for hunting moose. That will go over big in flyover country. He said “I won’t be bullied”, then begged Hillary to go out and fight Sarah for him. What a man!
September 9th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Dumbass doesn’t know what century Jesus lived in.
.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Did you see the great response Sarah Palin had to the questions asked on Meet the Press this past Sunday…she really erased my fears about her ability to govern. She handled the one about saying “thanks, but no thanks” to the Bridge to nowhere really well, and her understanding of foreign policy is unmatched. And then she went on Face the Nation and Jim Lehrer and now I’m not so worried, for every policy question she was able to give a thoughful answer..she didn’t once try to evade the question…ah, the media played it straight and asked follow ups, and tough but fair questions…
wait, i think I was dreaming.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
G.M.T., well I know he didn’t come up under the Daley machine.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I dreamed that I was on a communist web blog trying to set those liberals right in the commenting section but no one kept taking me seriously. Oh, and my name kept showing up as E. O’Neal. Weird!
September 9th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
hey norm, after November Obama will be a politically dead Kenyan-American poser. His face will go up on Mt. Flushmore next to McGovern, Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Gore and Kerry.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
ambinder posted that the repubs have established a sarah palin truth squad…will sarah palin be the first outed?
September 9th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I actually had a Palin dream a couple nights ago. I told my husband because it freaked me out. The dream was that anyone who publicly criticized Palin was executed on live national television.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I’ve been waiting years for a Republican to get a single fact right. Sadly, it was irrelevant.
.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
e oneal…um – obama was born in america. mccain was born out of the country. again, like your candidates, you seem to have problems with facts. if you opinions are based on erroneous facts then what good is your opinion?
September 9th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Karen, that’s not a dream. That’s sound public policy.
More ‘cuda!
September 9th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
From Ambinder’s cite, “We’re meeting it head on,” said Brian Rogers, a campaign spokesperson.
A safety precaution. Taking it in the head means a Republican won’t get hurt.
.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
e oneal…why do you hate america?
September 9th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
norm, huh? Are Italian-Americans necessarily born in Italy? Neither are Kenyan-Americans necessarily born in Kenya. I call Obama a Kenyan-American rather than an African-American to avoid confusion with those descended from slaves. The dude is descended from slaveholders and was raised by white people, but he likes to pose as one of the brothers, using what he learned from Rev. Wright.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
norm, I love America. That’s why I’m doing my patriotic duty here of ministering to the haters.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
off topic but…this just in…mccain thinks he is jack bauer. the delusions of the so-called right are grandiose. http://www.marieclaire.com/world/articles/john-mccain-interview
September 9th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
e oneal…really…because in america it is patriotic to question authority. it’s the enemy who thinks it’s good public policy to execute critics. ipso facto you are the enemy. deal with it.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Finally, the Palindrones pushed by the fundamentalist nutsquads grow bold enough to reveal their hackdom. I hope you enjoy it for the next 60 days, because you’re going to be real, real unhappy when President Black Obama Hussein X begins outlawing public prayer and appoints Bill Ayers Minister of Blowing Up Churches, which is what you fear, right?
And I don’t know Jesus personally, but I don’t think he was learning from Joe Vogler of the Alaska Independence Party, who hated America so bad that Palin’s ideological ally demanded to be buried outside of it, a wish he got in a plastic explosives deal gone wrong. Unless, of course, I missed that in the Epistles.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Please tell me more about how Obama isn’t black enough, Mr, uh, O’Neal.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
“I hope you enjoy it for the next 60 days, because you’re going to be real, real unhappy when President Black Obama Hussein X begins outlawing public prayer and appoints Bill Ayers Minister of Blowing Up Churches”
I smell buddy movie…
September 9th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Max, I never said Obama’s not black enough. I don’t care at all how much melanin a politician has. I think it’s comical the way Obama tries to appropriate the African-American experience, which is not his in any way. It’s as if a guy with one black parent and one Latvian parent, raised by the black parent, moved to Tennessee and pretended to be a red neck because of his ancestry. Kenyans, BTW, are as different from West Africans, where the American slaves originated, as Koreans are from Malays.
What if Obama’s sperm donor dad had been Chinese? Would he have moved to a Chinatown somewhere to launch his political career? The whole charade is a reflection on our ridiculous racial attitudes — the idea that “one drop” of African blood, or one half ancestry, makes you black. Now that idea is really racist.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Um. . . on topic:
I did have a dream the other day about Gov. Palin: A friend of mine, female, was saying that she was going to vote for McCain/Palin and I couldn’t talk her out of it.
Seriously. And this friend of mine supported John Edwards in the primary and everything.
Politics bad for brain! Brain hurts!
September 9th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
… and then I squawked on about some bizarro stuff about race! Why can’t I get anyone to take me serious? Why, because I’m a women!
September 9th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Did Jesus study under the leftist followers of Saul Alinsky?
As I tuned past Glenn Beck a few nights ago, some bozo was bitching about Alinsky and Obama.
It might interest you to know that I made it through Berkeley without once reading Alinsky, but ultimately had it recommended to me (back in the ’80s) by my boss at a large, conservative bank. Later (the ’90s) it became widely read in Silicon Valley.
Just because the ChiComs may be out to overtake us and kill us, doesn’t mean good capitalists shouldn’t read The Art of War
September 9th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
“Sarah Palin Says: … and then I squawked on about some bizarro stuff about race! Why can’t I get anyone to take me serious? Why, because I’m a women!”
I think we should all try to have synchronized dreams of Palin tonight with her playing highschool hoops and hitting the game winner, segueing into her wearing the “I may be broke, but I’m not flat-busted” T-shirt, with Barracuda playing in the background the whole time.
I figure we all take two ambiens at 2am and rev up the sync protocol.
Oooooohhhh… Barracuda!
September 9th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
I dream of Sarah with the light brown hair,
She’s driving a tractor, I’m in my underwear….
September 9th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I think Petey, Al, and O’Neal are the same person.
September 9th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I guess I’m out of it. I haven’t dreamed of Sarah Palin at all yet. Instead, last night I dreamed that a beautiful, conniving woman was climbing down a wall like Spiderman, accompanied by her son, and then I dreamed that I lost all my possessions, including my purse, in a flood.
I did have one Hillary Clinton dream, though, the day after the last Democratic primary.
September 9th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Judging from his comments today, BHO dreamed that Sarah Palin was a pig and McCain an old fish. The crowd loved his metaphor, but the public probably not so much.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
I tell ya I just don’t know what to think about all these folks that are falling all over themselves about her. I’ve even gone so far as to start a contest on my site, and asked Ross to donate a book to lure the Republicans in but so far no takers, or response from Ross.
The basic premise is “convince me why she’s good for America” more or less.
It shocks me to no end that people either don’t care or won’t inform themselves about the candidates and their actual policies.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Palin and another Dream
The American Dream, the oft-labeled foundation of our society, has a dirty secret. It is a hollower platitude today than at any point in its existence. Its resonance is nothing more than the rattling of crumbs at the bottom of an empty Pringles™ can. You may be surprised at its passing. Unless you were listening closely, you likely missed its death rattle. It was no liberty bell. It was not a sonic boom or atomic blast. It was the soft sibilance of gas passing through dank, stretched undergarments and threadbare couch cushions. Unfortunately scent is a sense you can’t ignore. The country is now redolent with the rank stench of mediocrity. If you haven’t yet caught a whiff, it’s a bit like a gas station burrito left to rot inside an old gym sock.
Our country once loved Horatio Alger stories of hardscrabble origins and hard-fought successes. Now we mock those who have scratched their way to the top through tenacity, vision, and, yes, natural talent (how unfair!). We hate the real success stories because they remind us of our own inadequacies. They remind us that we are fat, or lazy, or not as bright as some. Most of all they remind us of how untapped our lives are or have been. They prod that already throbbing irrationality that says “I could be famous” or that aching wound that says “I could have been.”
In our own self-loathing we have found new heroes. They are the rosters of reality TV shows who at their best are just like us and at their worse give us smug superiority, our own private moment to be elite. They are the salve to our throb. They’ve gone and proved it, after all: it really doesn’t take any hard work or special talent to be famous. How heroic of them. How comforting.
They’re just like us. That’s what we demand. Just like us! It’s our pop-single chorus and national anthem mixed together like a KFC Famous Bowl™. Just like us! Hear that? Now that’s what we want in our leaders. Just like us! We can’t handle our personal debt, let alone a national one. Never mind. Just like us! We can’t find Iowa on a map, let alone Kazakhstan, let alone South Ossetia, let alone Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan. Just like us! What the hell is a Shi’a? Who cares? Just like us! Let’s replace big brother with Big Brother™! Just like us! Remember, snobs, you can’t spell USA without us. Backyard BBQs for all! JUST! LIKE! US!
September 10th, 2008 at 12:23 am
OK, here goes. She’s good for America because she’s the antidote to the ridiculous Obama cult. She’s made him look bitter, foolish, desperate, unaccomplished, out of touch, and so fifteen minutes ago. She’s America, he’s Hyde Park. She’s real, he’s a hyped up celebrity. She’s renegotiated a $40 billion pipeline, he’s made speeches. She’s a winner, he’s a loser.
There’s nothing like getting ripped apart by a woman to make a man look small. Especially when the man is small to begin with.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:07 am
It has oft been said that much of the current Republican rhetoric comes from an unfortunate case of projection and insecurity.
E. O’Neal, it’s ok. Move on. Let the healing begin.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:30 am
No, I’m not projecting, but I can empathize. Poor Barry doesn’t know what hit him. He was all puffed up from the adoration of his followers when suddenly Sarah turned him into a figure of derision. He’d ridiculed her for being a former small-town mayor, which she explained is like a community organizer, only with responsibilities.
The air went out of his balloon and may not come back. Her strength and charisma make him look weak and tinny. Today he tried to turn her lipstick remark around by talking about putting lipstick on a pig. How pathetic.
September 10th, 2008 at 3:38 am
I think e o’neal has earned himself a mcbush ball washer at least
September 10th, 2008 at 4:47 am
Jeebus. I thought I was the only one.
My dream was just a few days after McCain announced her. I was ballroom dancing with a woman in very high heels. Every time she took a step with her right foot, she turned into Sarah Palin, and every time she took a step with her left foot, she turned into my very rich and extremely bossy sister-in-law. Back and forth, back and forth, over and over again. I was trying desperately to get out of it somehow, because I didn’t want to dance with either one of them, and besides she/they kept trying to lead.
What it means, besides that I’m one sick puppy who obsesses over politics way too much, I’d love to know.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:10 am
I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night,
alive as you and me . . .
September 10th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Just wanted to say Sarah Palin was in my dreams and she still was properly vetted.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:18 am
What “cult”?
Oh, that’s right: this is a thread about dreams.
.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:10 am
She’s made him look bitter, foolish, desperate, unaccomplished, out of touch, and so fifteen minutes ago.
You really should write for Gossip Girl, O’Neal.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Thanks. I thought it was a good line, too. If I were posting at a classier blog, I would have said “passe”, but I didn’t want to confuse anyone.
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