Buy My Shitpile
Accumulated any “toxic assets” over the years? Hoping someone will take them off your hands for more than they’re worth? Well, BuyMyShitpile.com is the website for you!
With our economy in crisis, the US Government is scrambling to rescue our banks by purchasing their “distressed assets”, i.e., assets that no one else wants to buy from them. We figured that instead of protesting this plan, we’d give regular Americans the same opportunity to sell their bad assets to the government. We need your help and you need the Government’s help!
Use the form below to submit bad assets you’d like the government to take off your hands. And remember, when estimating the value of your 1997 limited edition Hanson single CD “MMMbop”, it’s not what you can sell these items for that matters, it’s what you think they are worth. The fact that you think they are worth more than anyone will buy them for is what makes them bad assets.
I’ve got a MiniDisc player that I’m hoping the Treasury will buy.
44 Responses to “Buy My Shitpile”
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September 22nd, 2008 at 11:10 am
I’m sorry, I’ve been off the internet this weekend, so I haven’t yet scrolled through whatever’s been blogged about this bailout.
Is anyone, ANYONE, saying “NO!!” to this horrifying plan??
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:12 am
I’ve got a MiniDisc player and a MiniDisc 4 track portable recording studio so I’m first in that line.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
Re Marshall’s question “Is anyone, ANYONE, saying “NO!!” to this horrifying plan??
———–
Over the weekend, Vermont’s Independent Senator Bernie Sanders (who’s almost as smart as me) also proposed a Income Surtax on the rich to help pay for the bailout.
Last week, I suggested a $2 Trillion surtax, Bernie’s only suggesting $300 Billion.
From http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/20/politics/politico/thecrypt/main4462480.shtml
“On Saturday, Vermont Independent Sen. Bernie Sanders went two or three steps further in the opposite direction, offering a proposal to impose a 10 percent surtax on couples who makes more than $1 million annually or individuals who make more than $500,000. He estimates this increase would raise $300 billion for the federal government over the next five years — or less than half of the $700 billion Treasury has asked for.
“If this bailout is necessary, it should not be middle income or working families who have to pay for it,” Sanders said. “It should be the people who benefited from President Bush’s disastrous policies, including the very wealthiest people in this country.”
The liberal senator also issued a call for a “major economic recovery package” and legislation to institute new regulations on commodity speculators and the financial institutions that created this slide.
These proposals face long odds on their own, but Sanders goes even further by advocating the dismantling of giant corporations, saying, “We must end the danger posed by companies that are ‘too big too fail,’ that is, companies whose failure would cause systemic harm to the U.S. economy. If a company is too big to fail, it is too big to exist.”
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
I’ve got full ownership in a bankrupt Russian travel agency that was on the bleeding edge in the go-go late 90’s.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
“In 2007, Wall Street’s five biggest firms– Bear Stearns, Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, and Morgan Stanley - paid a record $39 billion in bonuses to themselves.” ABC’s Political Punch — I say no Bail Out!
AND
Senator John McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, was paid more than $30,000 a month for five years as president of an advocacy group set up by the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to defend them against stricter regulations!
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/22/us/politics/22mccain.html?ref=politics
More McCain Hypocrisy! I now understand why McCain who has been Chairman of the Commerce Committee for years says he knows very little about the economy, the one truth he has been honest about, because it has always been about Corp. first, only and last!
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:28 am
PS to Marshall:
1) I put up a Kos Dairy this morning — copied in a comment here on the preceding thread — noting that this Bailout will cost us $31,000 per household and that it will probably cost Obama the Election if he and the Democratic Congress approves it without making the Superrich pay for it.
2) Obama will lose Because of Democrats in swing states either not going to the polls or voting for Ralph Nader as they come to realize how badly they’ve been screwed. It only takes a percent or two — look at Florida in 2000.
Behind the scenes, Wealthy McCain backers will be happy to pay for media to promote Ralph Nader as a protest candidate for Democrats.
See http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2008/09/small_enough_to_fail.php#comment-655608
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am
I’ll take $2.6 Mil for the Beany Baby collection left in the forclosed house next door.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:35 am
Predatory Lenders…One of the 50 top Swing Voter Demographics in 2008.
Do you know the Top 50 Swing Voters in 2008?
#50 - Hockey Moms
#49 - Godless Hollywood Liberals
#48 - Baristas
#47 - People with STDs
#46 - Pirates
#45 - ???
http://swingvoters.wordpress.com
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
I wonder what I can get for my Nintendo Virtual Boy.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:40 am
Did we all crash the server of that site? I get a 403 Forbidden when I try to go there.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
Hey Government, pay my student loan debt of over $45,000!
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Did someone say MiniDisc? As it happens, I have two unopened 5-packs of blank discs, that I purchased just before hard disks and blank CDs became so cheap that MiniDisc became pointless.
You can have them cheap, or I can fly to Tokyo and sell them on a streetcorner.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
There’s a political party that ought to be in that pile. I’m sure that Bush/McCain is hoping this is the big bailout for them.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am
I have an secret Swiss bank account with millions of dollars worth of Nigerian currency that I would be willing to part with for only $20,000.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 am
There’s a political party that ought to be in that pile. I’m sure that Bush/McCain is hoping this is the big bailout for them.
Just one political party?
I’ve surfed around now, and I see Matt said that this was a crisis for American liberalism the other day. That, and a crisis for this country, for the standard of living we have enjoyed, for our spiritual well-being.
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
“Over the weekend, Vermont’s Independent Senator Bernie Sanders (who’s almost as smart as me) also proposed a Income Surtax on the rich to help pay for the bailout.”
Isn’t this what Democrats are supposed to do?
“Behind the scenes, Wealthy McCain backers will be happy to pay for media to promote Ralph Nader as a protest candidate for Democrats.”
I’m sure they will. Why shouldn’t they take advantage of the utter stupidity and cowardice of the Democrats?
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Someone might as well declare it a Jubilee Year and call all debts forgiven. Start out with clean books. Hit the restart button.
September 22nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
The fact that you think they are worth more than anyone will buy them for is what makes them bad assets.
Why should the government buy anyone’s bad assets? That would be a recipe for economic disaster. Please, the correct term is “illiquid assets.” And really, illiquid just means not-liquid, so we might as well just call them “solid.” The government will only invest in solid assets. Let’s hear no more talk of so-called “bad” assets.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
The Treasury will only buy crap that you have falsely inflated and then skimmed off any residual value. Plain old honest crap is an integral part of the ownership society - that’s yours to keep.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I have a box full of Betamax tapes.
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 am
I have $10 that I’m trying to sell for $1 billion. I can’t find any takers. Everyone seems to think they can find something equally worthless for $10. Hopefully treasury will offer me a non-punative value.
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 am
“The fact that you think they are worth more than anyone will buy them for is what makes them bad assets.”
I think you’d be more correct to sell off this blog. It’s clear you think your opinions are worth way more than I’m willing to pay for them - considering this blog is free but I’m eating up valuable time reading your crap.
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:11 am
How about almost ten thousand digital pictures of The Corrs?
A couple thousand of Summer Glau?
Salma Hayek?
Angelina Jolie?
September 24th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I have a genuine, leather embossed,authentic License to Print Money (calligraphy style font), with realistic gold leaf and NO expiration date. License is transferable for an additional small fee. Pay extra only for shipping and handling.*
*Duplicating machine information available upon request.
September 24th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
HEY! I have a hot dog toaster and use it all the time! No muckin’ about with pots and dirty water or a grill, and all the deliciousness of grilled dogs. What’s not to like?
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December 3rd, 2008 at 7:36 pm
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