Matt Yglesias

Aug 21st, 2008 at 3:14 pm

3AM Calls

Jacob Heilbrunn and Brian Katulis talk about why the combination of our weak intelligence and Pakistan’s shaky state apparatus mean the next president’s “3AM call” will likely be about Pakistan. On the other hand, imagine the nightmare scenario in which Matchbox 20 turns against the United States prompting the ultimate 3AM call:

It’s truly a chilling possibility, and not one that I think either party has addressed adequately.

Filed under: Matchbox 20, Pakistan,





46 Responses to “3AM Calls”

  1. JH Says:

    If you changed the lyrics to something neutral, I would never be able to tell the difference between Matchbox 20 and Christian Rock.

  2. Pierre de Fermat Says:

    I note that you have been strangely - suspiciously - silent on an issue you used to warn us about: the zombie menace. Have they gotten to you?

  3. Ned Says:

    Considering how violently Matchbox 20 has already revolted against the very concept of good music, I think it’s a legitimate concern.

  4. Lori Says:

    AHHHHH! Matchbox 20!

    *flees*

  5. anonymoose Says:

    I fear that the CIA gets information on an impending terrorist attack and at 3am, they decide to call President John McCain…

    …and cant remember which house he is vacationing at.

  6. spokeytown Says:

    Dammit! I was going to ask what would happen if the call came to the wrong one of McCain’s four-seven-ten-eleven houses, but Anonymoose beat me to it. At least McCain needs to definitively clear up exactly how many houses he has so the CIA knows how many calls they need to make before they hit the right one.

    Or can he just get a cell phone so they can reach him anywhere? Does he know how to work one of those?

  7. spokeytown Says:

    if McCain would just get a cell phone the CIA wouldn’t have to worry about which house he’s at when they try to call him at 3 AM.

  8. Martin Says:

    You haven’t done many (any?) request threads since your switch, but I for one would like to see someone but me argue that this “3 a.m.” frame is totally misleading and prejudicial. The brutal fact is that all important decisions by presidents are taken in the light of day and are the product of long deliberation and meetings with advisors and so forth. The invasion of Iraq, the decision to divide the country after 9/11 instead of unite it, the decision to ship suspected terrorists to Guantanamo etc. etc. were not made at 3 a.m., they were made over a long period of time.

    It’s no small exaggeration to say that insofar as you are interested in non-ideological reasons of “character” and “judgment” for choosing a president, you should choose the guy who runs the best meeting, not the guy who can think more clearly at 3:01 a.m. Maybe it’s because a Democrat started the 3 a.m. meme, but I’m shocked at the acceptance of the validity of the premise, which is totally false. 3 a.m. has nothing to do with being president.

  9. Aleks Says:

    That singer looks pretty sickly. He needs more Arugula in his diet.

  10. DivGuy Says:

    I note that you have been strangely - suspiciously - silent on an issue you used to warn us about: the zombie menace. Have they gotten to you?

    Perhaps they’ve gotten to you. Everyone knows the zombies are merely a cover for the robots who will surely usher in our dystopian future.

    Yglesias’ burial of the biggest story of the year, rat-robot hybrid that is only the newest step toward the subjugation of humanity, does suggest that they’ve gotten to him.

    Maybe his trust-fund is run by robots?

  11. Seitz Says:

    Moose, even if they could find him, how are they going to be able to wake him up at 3:00 am when he’s socked out on Ambien?

  12. norge Says:

    Can we stop using the term “3am call”?? I mean, what if its Mikhail Shakashvili just drunk dialing?

  13. anonymoose Says:

    if McCain would just get a cell phone the CIA wouldn’t have to worry about which house he’s at when they try to call him at 3 AM.

    If he cant figure out how to use teh google, just how do you think he would figure out how to use a cell phone?

    Moose, even if they could find him, how are they going to be able to wake him up at 3:00 am when he’s socked out on Ambien?

    Not sure, I was thinking reciting some lines from Apocalypse Now would do the trick…Ride of the Valkyries would do it I guess. Problem is that with the Ambien, I am pretty sure he would be sleepwalking, and we know with his hot temper and war-mongering, he would be somewhere close to the “big red button”. I’m not sure if I would want to startle him with the Ride of the Valkyries because it may cause him to reflexively push the button.

  14. Pierre de Fermat Says:

    Everyone knows the zombies are merely a cover for the robots who will surely usher in our dystopian future.
    Oh cripes, the robots. Fortunately, I have my Old Glory insurance paid up. I don’t think it covers zombies though.

  15. Gav Says:

    Interesting off-topic point: That song was written (and sung) by Rob Thomas ages ago about having to take care of his mother when she was diagnosed with cancer and given just a few months to live. He was like 12 or something, living in a trailer park, and had to care for her by himself since they were pretty poor. That’s a real hard-bitten American story that this administration does its best to pretend doesn’t exist. Why would anyone think McCain would be any different?

  16. KT Says:

    I notice that the tags for this post are “Matchbox 20, Pakistan” — that has got to be a first.

  17. Richard Steven Hack Says:

    As for the robot threat, remember: Cameron returns September 8th on Fox! And everything changes!

    Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Season 2 Promo 2
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfRWukGfc-s

    Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles season 2 promo 5
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trZy9qthjRA&feature=related

  18. Steve W. Says:

    OAR would also be a national tragedy were they to turn against us. But then again, all they want to do at 3 is go to bed.

  19. Luke Says:

    Need I remind all you zombophobes that MONKEYS CAN CONTROL ROBOT ARMS WITH THEIR THOUGHTS?!?!?!?

    Also, I imagine the trouble with the 3 am call to McCain is that, rather than greeting with a “hello”, he habitually answers the phone by screaming “Bomb the darkies!”

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